Summer Boink

London, June 1999

The Totally Official English Language Pedigree for 'Boink'



"…Nou ich wille &et ye ywyte hou hit is ywent: &et &is boc of boink is ywent…"

(Kentish Prayer Book, circa 1240)


"I see by thy bearing thou would'st a boinker be, hold now, lest it follow thee…"

(Shakespeare, Untitled Sonnet)


"Wot? Me solit-ah-tah's gone a boinkin', else 'e'd 'ave yoh knickahs in a roight cobblahs, 'e would…"

(Charles Dickens, 1863)


"For two thousand years of recorded history, and perhaps for two thousand years before that, we have boinked undaunted. And for two thousand years yet to come, we shall continue to boink undaunted…"

(Winston Churchill, 1942)


"Some American people who are citizens of foreign countries, not necessarily here on earth and overseas, have governments that do not permit boinks. Our government, of the people and by the people, including American people not on earth or overseas, allows boinks for American citizens of all nationalities. Why? Because if it's a foreign country, there's a pretty good chance that it's not our country. That's why. I am proud to know the difference…"

(Dan Quayle, 1987)



Hello surfer, and welcome to the Totally Official aue London Boink Home Page!




 Mike's award!


 What dictionaries are on Brian's desktop?

 (beer run, change chairs)

How did the word, 'ale', manage to sneak into the English language?

(beer run, change chairs) 

Progress report on the true origin of 'Pop goes the weasel'?

(pool money for a beer run, make beer run)

 How many newsgroups does everyone subscribe to?

(shoo off anyone wandering on to our floor)

Sub-discussion: Mailing one's underwear to a stranger


Which aue posters are plonkers?

 (beer run, change chairs)

Sub-discussion: The aue Summer Doldrums Competition


Sub-discussion: Outline for Brian's next book (everyone gets very serious and takes notes)


Apotheosis: Everyone simultaneously discovers they are wearing a watch and professes astonishment at the time. Make plans for the next boink. I tell Lynn (the barmaid) that it's done, Lynn comments, "That's such a nice group. Are they all professors or something?". All parties exit and melt into the ebb and flow of London, W1.



Now on to the pix…

Intrepid correspondent Mike (right) accepts the Totally Official 1999 aue award for foundation research!


Brian explains a 'fine shade of meaning'…


Brian tries again, speaking slowly and using little words…


Jim! Clean shaven! Don't even think out-nitpicking Jim. This dedicated boinker is a walking trove of wit and wisdom and a treasure of aue. Jim is very much on-line, and ready to boink. When you see a posting from Jnugent, archive it. Trust me on this one.


Laura! Paying very close attention to whatever drivel Brian was concocting. There is no reality in which one cannot fall into a fascinating and enlightening conversation with Laura. Laura is brilliant! And nit-picks should note very carefully: Laura is wearing the SAME brooch that Katy wore at the Christmas Boink! Look very carefully and bear me out on this one. They never met, and they certainly never sorted notes about brooches. But somehow they sported the same brooch to the boink… Is that wonderful or what? Magic!


Mike, Brian, and Laura after we 'changed chairs'. 'Changing chairs every so often' is very much part of our tradition. But it's really a misnomer because there are only one set of chairs available, and even after we change them, they are still the same. What we actually do is change positions. Hence the motto, 'Boinkers try new positions'…

Mike, Brian, and Laura

Since when did we allow levity in our boinks? Who is this party girl? Could it be Lintz? Lintz, fabled hostess of the North Wet Boinks? Lintz, ever-ready to throw sunshine into the proceedings. Lintz! Our muse. Immanently ready to party. The quintessence of boinking! See you in Manchester, Lintz!


Mike. This is the other Mike. Our conscience. Our stanchion. Our Hercules. Our very own Chartes Cathedral incarnate himself. Don't even *think* about putting one over on Mike. Mike has also helped me with my Turnpike. Thanks, Mike!

Mike Barnes

Who's that guy that always shows up with that 'fox', that 'vixen', that 'minx' at his side? Who is that guy? That's our PIPER! That's who. No regiment is complete without a Piper, and we boast our very own silver pipes Peter. If you want the no-nonsense, no-BS, totally-for-real, deep-dirt, low-down on something, just boink with Peter. Resti, to his left, has never posted, but can boast more boinks than even the most fervent of aue denizens, including me. AUE salutes Resti!


Here's a close-up of the Totally Official aue Trophy for Foundation Research.

We all acknowledged that one day this trophy may leave this island enroute to a Left Pondian recipient over there in America or someplace like that. But for the nonce, it abides with us over here (who invented the language in the first place).



Thanks for visiting, please DO drop by anytime!


Kind regards,

Garry J. Vass