The Totally Official English Language Pedigree for
"…Nou ich wille &et ye ywyte hou hit is ywent: &et
&is boc of boink is ywent…"
(Kentish Prayer Book, circa 1240)
"I see by thy bearing thou would'st a boinker be, hold now, lest
it follow thee…"
(Shakespeare, Untitled Sonnet)
"Wot? Me solit-ah-tah's gone a boinkin', else 'e'd 'ave yoh
knickahs in a roight cobblahs, 'e would…"
(Charles Dickens, 1863)
"For two thousand years of recorded history, and perhaps for two
thousand years before that, we have boinked undaunted. And for two thousand
years yet to come, we shall continue to boink undaunted…"
(Winston Churchill, 1942)
"Some American people who are citizens of foreign countries, not
necessarily here on earth and overseas, have governments that do not permit
boinks. Our government, of the people and by the people, including American
people not on earth or overseas, allows boinks for American citizens of
all nationalities. Why? Because if it's a foreign country, there's a
pretty good chance that it's not our country. That's why. I am proud to know the
(Dan Quayle, 1987)
Hello surfer, and welcome to the Totally Official aue London
Boink Home Page!
What dictionaries are on Brian's desktop?
(beer run, change
How did the word, 'ale', manage to sneak into the English
(beer run, change chairs)
Progress report on the true origin of 'Pop goes the
(pool money for a beer run, make beer run)
How many newsgroups does everyone subscribe
(shoo off anyone wandering on to our
Sub-discussion: Mailing one's underwear to a stranger
Which aue posters are plonkers?
(beer run, change
Sub-discussion: The aue Summer Doldrums Competition
Sub-discussion: Outline for Brian's next book (everyone gets
very serious and takes notes)
Apotheosis: Everyone simultaneously discovers they are wearing a
watch and professes astonishment at the time. Make plans for the next boink. I
tell Lynn (the barmaid) that it's done, Lynn comments, "That's such a
nice group. Are they all professors or something?". All parties exit and
melt into the ebb and flow of London, W1.
Now on to the pix…
Intrepid correspondent Mike (right)
accepts the Totally Official 1999 aue award for foundation research!
Brian explains a 'fine shade of meaning'…
Brian tries again, speaking slowly and using little
Jim! Clean shaven! Don't even think
out-nitpicking Jim. This dedicated boinker is a walking trove of wit and
wisdom and a treasure of aue. Jim is very much on-line, and ready to
boink. When you see a posting from Jnugent, archive it. Trust me on this
Laura! Paying very close attention to whatever drivel
Brian was concocting. There is no reality in which one cannot fall into a
fascinating and enlightening conversation with Laura. Laura is brilliant!
And nit-picks should note very carefully: Laura is wearing the SAME
brooch that Katy wore at the Christmas Boink! Look very carefully and bear
me out on this one. They never met, and they certainly never sorted notes
about brooches. But somehow they sported the same brooch to the boink… Is
that wonderful or what? Magic!
Mike, Brian, and Laura after we 'changed chairs'.
'Changing chairs every so often' is very much part of our tradition. But
it's really a misnomer because there are only one set of chairs available,
and even after we change them, they are still the same. What we actually
do is change positions. Hence the motto, 'Boinkers try new
Since when did we allow levity in our boinks? Who is this
party girl? Could it be Lintz? Lintz, fabled hostess of the North Wet
Boinks? Lintz, ever-ready to throw sunshine into the proceedings. Lintz!
Our muse. Immanently ready to party. The quintessence of boinking! See you
in Manchester, Lintz!
Mike. This is the other Mike. Our conscience. Our
stanchion. Our Hercules. Our very own Chartes Cathedral incarnate himself.
Don't even *think* about putting one over on Mike. Mike has also
helped me with my Turnpike. Thanks, Mike!
Who's that guy that always shows up with that 'fox', that
'vixen', that 'minx' at his side? Who is that guy? That's our
PIPER! That's who. No regiment is complete without a Piper, and we
boast our very own silver pipes Peter. If you want the no-nonsense, no-BS,
totally-for-real, deep-dirt, low-down on something, just boink with Peter.
Resti, to his left, has never posted, but can boast more boinks than even
the most fervent of aue denizens, including me. AUE salutes
Here's a close-up of the Totally Official aue Trophy for
We all acknowledged that one day this trophy may leave
this island enroute to a Left Pondian recipient over there in America or
someplace like that. But for the nonce, it abides with us over here (who
invented the language in the first place).